february mother lode giveaway winner

let me explain something
(because i can't believe what is going on here)
when i do a giveaway
i never, ever check the comments until
the giveaway is over and i have picked a winner.

i usually take a huge breath
get comfortable in my skin,
sort out any lingering issues i have
with the pressures of picking one person
out of hundreds,
come to a zen-ish state of mind
and choose a winner.

(sometimes i use a random number generator
sometimes i use my husband
and sometimes i just pick one with no rhyme or reason)

so this time i performed my pre-picking ritual
and saw in my mind's eye the number 5.

5 out of hundreds
is a bit odd
anyway.

then i clicked to the comments
counted down five
and there was my friend
azucar de la pines.

my friend.
close friend.

and i thought,
i can't pick my close friend.

and then i thought,
why can't i pick my close friend?
she is number five
-the number i settled on before
i picked a winner.

and then i thought
(quite lump-in-throat-ish)
she deserves this mother lode
from me.

she who took on my mother lode
of emotional baggage
five years ago when she became my friend.

she lifted me over infertility,
found me a new house for my family,
fed me and my expanding crew
and checks up on me nightly with emails.

sometimes fate knows what is is doing.

azucar my dear,
you win february's mother lode
(thanks for being my amiga.)

thanks to everyone else for entering.

p.s.
my thanks to the sponsorship inquiries
for dear c jane.
my team of tireless monkeys
are working on responding to all emails.

if you'd like to be a dear c jane sponsor
--mostly because it is really fun--
you can email us at
dearcjane@gmail.com